he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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