my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
