They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
