I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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