i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
17 year olds will be the death of me.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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