How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
