About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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