i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Oh god it's open bar.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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