I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
