I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
