i don't like sucking hair
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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