before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
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