so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
there is glitter all over my balls
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