That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
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More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
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Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
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