So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
