What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
