I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
im drinking this country out of the recession.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
