He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
is this the sara with the beer cane?
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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