Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
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I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
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