Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I wish I could teleport
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
