he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
