she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I'm bleeding and have questions
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
