i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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