well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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