I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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