He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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