I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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