So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
