his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
