We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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