I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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