So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
