Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
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