I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
