drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
