The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
do herpes really smell.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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