Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
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I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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