I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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