break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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