think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
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