She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
