man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
