It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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