he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
wat bout pragnant strippers??
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize
