Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
