i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
