So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
farters have to be the big spoon...
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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