I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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