Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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