Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
as a side note pls kill me
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
