there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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