Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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