I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize