you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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