ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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