we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
It's official drugs can't kill me
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I just want to make out with him forever
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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