I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
