Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize