Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Randomize
